Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Micah 7:7

I'm learning to appreciate the small things: the ordinary. I thought of this verse bc it says that I cry out to God and wait, and God will hear me. My baby, is my evidence of Him hearing my tears.

As I listened to my husband and GB pillowfighting last night with Handsome boy chasing them, the laughter filled the house and my heart felt as if it were going to explode out of my chest. THESE ordinary moments are the moments it's about. The small miracles....

I could live every ordinary, monotonous day for a few moments like that every day. Laughs, hugs, kisses and the tears.

Once upon a time

I was very introspective. I guess I don't have much time to spend on those thoughts now. Perhaps surrounding myself with people constantly is a defense mechanism for me. But as I listen to Sarah Mclachlan's Good Enough this morning it creeps back in.

I'm not sure that many people "get" me. People see my abrasive exterior as being "sure" of myself when truely there's never been anything I've been less "sure" of. Even at my highschool reunion, these guys I considered friends were telling stories if the time they had crushes on me and me....till that day had no idea and can't understand why. I don't know what my husband sees in me. I wish I did.

There are so many people I have hurt bc of my issues with myself....*sigh*

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Granpaw, tell me bout the good ole days

This past weekend, the closest equivalent that I have to a brother was married. For his remembrance table he wanted a picture by Aidan of Pawpaw. She one-upped him and made a clay figurine complete with suspenders, glasses, cane, and even juicy fruit gum in his pocket. They both cried.

How many little girls can say that they even got to know their granddad let alone argue that they had the best one. I knew until the day He died I could call him from wherever I was and he would fly in (in his pickup) and rescue me and if there were a Dairy Queen nearby, I was getting treated to lunch and a vanilla malt.

He kept pink finger nail polish and acetone so our nails were always fresh...and he even let us style his hair.

One should be so lucky to have so many lasting memories and miss one person so much.

My cup runneth over.

Monday, April 12, 2010

You must've been a beautiful baby.

I can say with pride that my boy is beautiful!

But I want to capture every expression, every curl, every knuckless finger in all their chubby goodness before the quickly leave me.....*tear* There are so many more but I won't bore you with too much cuteness. LOL

Thursday, March 18, 2010


I think that many problems in marriage result from the fact that communication
goes from discussing your feelings for
each other and your dreams together to dicussing the mundane maintenance of those finances, painting the house, doctors appts, taxes, & even discussing and planning for sex.

This often occurs the the points that in discussing these things, you, as a couple, forget that you're living YOUR (plural) dreams.

A lot on my heart

I want to give my kids the kind of foundation in church that I was given but sadly I can't get past my own hang ups with church. No matter where I go, I see them. I'm reminded time and time again that I don't go to church for the people. I'm also reminded that one can meet God anywhere, like here at my desk this morning.

Church should be used as a source of fellowship with like minded people battling the similar issues so that you can lean on them like Bubba Gump to keep each other out of the mud. Sadly, most don't want to share those issues because they are embarrassing so instead they choose to use church as a social setting finding the gossip of peoples' prayer request to make themselves feel better about their own circumnstances. Since they choose to stay away from social settings to "avoid the devil" they bring him to church but coveting the Jones' new Toureg or Navigator and buying one themselves-only to put themselves more in debt. Unable to put food on their table because of their debt, they turn to the church-never seeing their faults or flaws.

As a pastor in Iowa so put it, "I think far too many people, like my husband, don't lose their faith, but their traditions lose them. Church people can be too brash, they can be too forceful and judgmental; they can be too close-minded and far too empty of grace.

And some people just can't stand the hypocrisy. Some people just can't stand being constantly judged for something they can't control. Some people have too many questions and don't think they can ask them. So they leave. Or rather, they are left behind."

I can find these things, these people on the street, people. I can find God anywhere I go. I can see the good in people other than just people that go to church-the ones that many churches cast away simply because they don't take the time to look past their ungodly deeds.

A lady in church said of me "I hope her sister doesn't screw up her life the way she did". One said "they shouldn't be allowed to marry in the church". Another said "How could she be so stupid." All of this was said simply because I got pregnant before I was married....even though their children had sex out of marriage before me.

For once perhaps the people of the church should look into their hearts at their ungodly deeds and realize that instead of ministering they are pushing people away.

Why do you go to church?

I ask of you to think about who Jesus associated with. Who Jesus ministered to?

I want my children to use the church as a place of worship, to revere it as a place the God comes to when people cry out to Him. But I also want them to know that God is everywhere...God should be worshipped everywhere and in everything we do. I don't want them to be pushed away by knowing how the people in the church act when someone stumbles or falls because if I'm teaching them that every sin is equal in God's eyes....then we all need to take a step back and fall on our knees before Him.

I'm going to try a little harder to look at everyone through God's eyes, including the church....but it would be nice if the church would return the favor.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I miss blogging....

but due to the current economy, work, home and just life period.....Alice has very little time to be introspective (Thank God). I have little time to think about people outside of my circle...which at times I'm grateful. It's about time some relationships weren't one-way. I spend my time working and working and playing with my kiddos. I'm enjoying every second that I get to watch them grow up, which are fewer since I'm in bed so early.

Hard to believe the boys are almost 1. Looking back thru these blogs makes me sad NOT ONLY realizing how fast the last year has passed....but also my pregnancy.

My baby girl will be 8 next week....*tear* Ok I don't want to talk about it or think about it any more so I'm going to pretend like this never happened. She will always be that adorable toddler with thunder thighs and a poop-not in the top of her head that too-this-day is frightened of a vacuum cleaner. What an amazing child she is. She tells me I'm the prettiest lady in the world and she hopes she looks like me. 8 Years ago today I was begging and bargaining with God. Didn't get my wish till 8 years ago this weekend. I learned to be more SPECIFIC for what I prayed.

I truly don't know how I got so lucky....not once but twice.

My cup runneth over.

On to a party where we'll jump to our legs give out....and maybe even have some crawfish (if we're lucky).....

Tata and Happy Mardi Gras.