Bidding farewell to my twenties....kinda bittersweet. So much has happened....I got married, became a mother, moved multiple times,met my best friend, bought a house, started 2 businesses, had another child and am now losing my ability to ever have another child. A little more than bittersweet.
So I am about to finally get my vodka, gauze and butterknife. The things I have begged my friends for when they asked "is there anything I can do?" It's kinda sad. Almost feel guilty as I would gladly trade my rotten uterus with someone just so they could have a kid. I know they would appreciate it a tad more than I. Even with all the problems I've had, the ole girl's been good to me in that regard. I will be gladly to have some relief and be able to enjoy my life at least 2 weeks out of the month and to never worry about a period or paying for "period wear" again. Maybe even lose a few pounds. And get to catch up on lifetime movies.
I don't feel like God would have opened this door if there wasn't a reason. It's an answered prayer even though I wish there were alternatives. And desperately wish by doing so there was a way to help someone else.
I'm scared in a way....cause I loathe surgery. I'm scared that my heart may bleed when I see babies in the future and can't have one....but then I feel selfish for even feeling that way since I have mine. I'd feel so much better if it were benefitting someone other than me....but I guess that's a mother's curse. Guilt.
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